reasons to let me cuddle you:
- I will stick my cold hands all over your body
- I’ll probably fall asleep on you and make cute sleep noises
- I can lay there long enough for the second coming of christ
- I will be smiling the whole time
- you’re warm and I’m not
- let me leech your heat
Two weeks later, we spoke again.
I would normally scroll past this because I discovered it a day late, but I would just like to point out that yesterday, two weeks after October 3rd, it was indeed raining where I live.
You’ve earned it, Margaret.
Original comic by Jim Benton
don’t underestimate me. i’ll wear sweaters in the summer. i’ll eat like eighteen gallons of ice cream in the winter. fuck the temperature. i don’t give a fuck
I’ll never understand people who don’t drink alcohol
Maybe they know what alcohol can do to people, maybe they fear liver failure, maybe they had a family member or friend that died from an alcohol related accident, maybe they don’t feel the need or desire to drink, it’s really not that hard to comprehend.
gayest sport on earth
somebody’s obviously never heard of turkish oil wrestling
OH MY GOD I AM CRYING
you have not LIVED until you’ve seen live Turkish oil wrestling.
why is he putting his hand in his pants
That’s how you win. By securing a grip on the “kisbet” (the special type of pants the wrestlers wear) and then pinning the opponent is how victory is achieved. The loser will then kiss the victor’s hand as a sign of respect and admiration.
that sport was so made up as an explanation for two guys getting caught going at it
they oil each other up
im crying here
This post literally gets gayer each time it appears on my dash. What the fuck?!?! This is like the most elaborate act that ever required a constant “no homo” to be chimed.
*drinks water* im hydrating my flesh prison
What the fuck is wrong with this website
im just trying to hydrate my flesh prison
I would watch about a hundred seasons of a romcom where two lady serial killers wind up sharing an apartment and trying to hide their crimes from each other
YES GOOD PLS
reblogging this because i think it is creative and funny, not because i dont get laid. this is a good joke, and i have a lot of sex with women
was that really necessary to add
huh? just sharing my love of getting laid. didn’t mean to offend you friend. i just have a lot of sex. with women. i get laid a lot and thats why i added this.
can someone make a picture that says selena slowmez with her face on a yellow light
I am pretty high right now and that is the moat hilarious thing I have hearf
What if it bites me and it dies?
that means you’re poisonous. jesus christ, nate, learn to read.
What if it bites itself and I die?
What if it bites me and someone else dies?
That’s correlation, not causation.
what if we bite each other and neither of us die
oh my god
this is still my favorite text post collaboration ever
I rarely reblog stuff like this, but this is so damn clever and hilarious.
(Source) for the fact in the picture
Why is the cake cutting-thingy square? And where’s the leftovers from the middle circle?
One of the pieces disappears?????
it’s a mouse wearing pants
this show gives no fucks